The Gospel According To Darkness - 1/

Her world was already impossibly big, and now, having found herself across the void, the spaces between her homeworld and the next, it all became too consuming. The people, their hopes, their fears, their pain... She felt all of it. Her job now was to dull the crushing ache.

Seeing an opportunity to make things better, she ran at it. She ran and threw herself at it with all the force and determination she was able to drag from the very depths of her being. As her body met the weak spot in the barrier she heard a crack. The sound traveled through her body and reverberated, her bones rumbled; she knew this feeling, it was the slip between spaces; the "here" and the "next".

The buildings around her began to bleed into the sky above them. Reflections grew brighter, and the hum grew louder until it engulfed her and she felt her feet lift off the ground. Celeste closed her eyes as her head began to spin. She let her head fall back and stretched out her fingers to feel the air rush between them. She lingered in the feeling for a few moments, and then her feet felt the ground again. The gentle tap as her shoes made contact with the gravel and dirt.

As she opened her eyes though, she realised this wasn't the space she expected to find herself in. This was dark. There was a gloom that slinked over everything it touched. It wasn't ominous, it wasn't threatening, it was just... Empty"

It had been an uncountable number of days since Celeste had traversed the void for the last time. Her heart had been full of hope and a determination she'd thought she'd forgotten. It was a chance not to make things right, because she couldn't change what had happened; it was a chance to show that she could take control of her own life, to steer her path somewhere that made sense for her.

But now there was so much she had forgotten. The murk and gloom had almost engulfed her as she slept and it was harder and harder for her to shake off. What light she had within herself was a memory, and even that began to flicker and then fade.

Step after laboured step, the ground cracked and crunched underfoot. She persisted, no longer understanding why; it was just the routine. Walk, sleep, shake off the gloom, repeat. At first she thought she was imagining it because she so desperately wanted something to change from the black and grey, but as she walked she could see the dimmest blue spark struggling through the gloom.

The curiosity gave her a flicker of purpose and cautious optimism.

The sight of the blue glow through the murk sparked a memory of what hope felt like, but it also made her feel anger and frustration. Hope was a welcome feeling for her because it gave her purpose.

Celeste began to remember how long she'd been in this space, the frustration of the murk and its relentlessness, the restless sleep, and then from the frustration came anger.

The anger began to swirl with her frustration; it bubbled, it boiled, and before too long it overtook her. The wave of emotion slammed into her like a wave, and as it hit she fell to her knees and sobbed.

"Fuck", she muttered quietly.

Celeste's voice got louder and firmer, her hands anchored her as she unleashed a final ringing expletive. Her body tensed and she felt it cascade out of her mouth "fuck!", it rang amongst the rocks and trees the gloom began to dissipate.

Defiance.

She was angry at herself more than anything for letting it take over her, stifle and suffocate her, and force her into a space filled with so much hopelessness. But she was also angry because the darkness is its own thing, and at every intersection of choice it always chose to suffocate her.

"Fuck" she whispered, one last time, exhausted and liberated, even just a little. It was a start, and that was important.

“Clever”

It was more a thought or an echo than a voice.

Celeste was startled, it was the first thing that she’d heard in this place that wasn’t the sound of her footsteps, mumbles of her own voice to herself, or her own breathing.